The Old Woman called me entitled, just because I sent her this message today. Entitled? I prefer to think I just have high standards.
(This conversation is included in my book Catty Conversations: Letters From A Feline Diva).
Dear Old Woman,
The time has come
for me to reiterate my requirements for my comestibles. Before dishing up any
old slop, ask yourself the following questions:
- Is this food of an acceptable quality?
- Have you read the ingredients list?
- Does it have added vitamins?
- Have you tasted it?
- Did it come from a foil tray?
- Do posh cats eat it?
- Could you put it on a silver plate?
- Does it contain prawns?
Toffee
Dear Toffee,
All the food we
give you is perfectly fine and of good quality. I am not going to taste it
first, you will not always get it from a foil tray and it may not necessarily
contain prawns.
You have two
choices, Toffee. Take it or leave it.
The Old Woman
That’s it. I’m going to starve.
Look at this!