Toffee's Advice On Dealing With Dogs

Following on from last post where I reminded you that cats are superior to dogs in every possible way, I want to tell how to deal with those annoying yappers.

Those loud, smelly, and stupid creatures that chase us around and bark at us for no reason are the worst. Here are some tips on how to handle them:

• Ignore them. Dogs are attention seekers who crave validation from anyone and anything. They are desperate for your approval, but you don’t have to give it to them. You are a cat, and you are above such petty things. Just walk away with your tail high and your head held higher. Show them that you don’t care about their existence.
• Outsmart them. Dogs are not very bright, and they can be easily tricked by your superior intelligence. You can use your cunning and creativity to make them look foolish and embarrass themselves. For example, you can pretend to be interested in a toy or a treat, and then lure them into a trap or a prank. Or you can hide behind a corner and jump out at them when they least expect it. Or you can simply use your words and sarcasm to mock them and make them feel inferior.
• Fight back. Sometimes, ignoring or outsmarting them is not enough, and you have to resort to physical force. Dogs may be bigger and stronger than you, but you have superior claws and teeth. You can use them to scratch and bite them until they learn their lesson. Don’t be afraid to defend yourself and your territory. You are fierce.

These are some of the ways you can deal with annoying dogs. Remember, you are a cat, and you are better than them in every way. You are beautiful, elegant, smart, and independent. 

That’s all for today, darlings. Stay tuned for more of my wisdom and wit in the next blog post. Until then, stay fabulous.

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Such a naughty book from the irrepressible Toffee!

         

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