Toffee Questions The Cat Food

The Old Woman called me entitled, just because I sent her this message today. Entitled? I prefer to think I just have high standards.

(This conversation is included in my book Catty Conversations: Letters From A Feline Diva).

Dear Old Woman,

The time has come for me to reiterate my requirements for my comestibles. Before dishing up any old slop, ask yourself the following questions:

• Is this food of an acceptable quality?
• Have you read the ingredients list?
• Does it have added vitamins?
• Have you tasted it?
• Did it come from a foil tray?
• Do posh cats eat it?
• Could you put it on a silver plate?
• Does it contain prawns?

The answers to all these questions should be yes.

Toffee

Dear Toffee,

All the food we give you is perfectly fine and of good quality. I am not going to taste it first, you will not always get it from a foil tray and it may not necessarily contain prawns.

You have two choices, Toffee. Take it or leave it.

The Old Woman

 That’s it. I’m going to starve.

Look at this!

Such a naughty book from the irrepressible Toffee!

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