Wednesday, 15 April 2020

M is For Mistakes




Mistakes? I never make one. My old man and old woman may THINK I have made a mistake but they are wrong.


They may see me climb to the top of the bookcase and then, apparently, miss my footing and plummet to the floor. I have, however, done this completely on purpose. I am in training for the Purrlympics. 


Never heard of them? Well, we cats don't like to brag about our athletic expertise so we hold our events in secret. I am the world champion in the Three Metre Drop and aim to keep my title this year.

My head is apparently stuck in a cardboard box. No, it is not. I can remove the box whenever I like. I am just in here checking there are no insects stuck in the corners. It might take me some time. Yes, I'm still looking. I know it's been ten minutes but I am nothing if not thorough. If you want to, you can take the box off me. I will humour you and allow you to do that. Like, now? NOW!

I apparently swallowed a bee by accident. Silly, silly you. Haven't you heard that bee venom cures arthritis? I know my face has blown up like a balloon but that's a small price to pay for not having this debilitating illness. I am aware I don't actually have arthritis  but this is merely proof that my preventative measure is working.

You laugh when I apparently chase my own tail in the mistaken belief it belongs to someone else. But what I am actually doing is testing Dizziness Resistance. I must make sure that after four or five head-spinning turns I can still stand up. I am doing this for YOU, old man and old woman. What if, for example, I spotted a mouse inside a-a-a spinning thing, how could I rescue you from the little monster if I were  having a dizzy spell? 

So you see I am a totally mistake-free zone.



My blog That's Purrfect is also in the A to Z Challenge. Read it here www.thatspurrfect.co.uk

*     *     *     *     *     *    *
Well, I've finally done it. I have written my no-holds-barred exposé of my life. Prepare to be AMAZED, prepare to be SHOCKED, prepare to be ENTHRALLED blah, blah, blah. Left is the paperback, right is the Kindle version.


            





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13 comments:

  1. ROTFLOL - oh, I think I have a cat in training for the Purrlympics too, only she's going for an even longer drop! This is awesome 😂
    Tasha 💖
    Virginia's Parlour - The Manor (Adult concepts - nothing explicit in posts)
    Tasha's Thinkings - Vampire Drabbles

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    Replies
    1. We are very athletic, we cats.

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  2. Of course cats don't make mistakes. I am sure Velvet meant to lean against the window screen, pop it out and fall into the front yard!

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    Replies
    1. Of course Velvet did it on purpose! No doubt about it.

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  3. I know you are purrfect Toffee.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. You are a person of great intelligence.

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  4. You have convinced me....you are PURRFECT! Hugs and pets ...see ya tomorrow!

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    Replies
    1. I am, Kathe. I really, really am.

      Delete
  5. Adorable is a very good word for me, Navita.

    ReplyDelete