Those of you who know me well will know that I am something of a fashion expert. I don't, personally, wear clothes but my humans do.
They are continually committing fashion faux paws (see what I did there?) with their misguided fashion choices.
The Old Woman, especially, has an uncanny ability to select the most unflattering outfits.
Picture this morning's ensemble: a mismatched outfit that combined stripes, polka dots, and plaid all in one bewildering outfit. It's as if she raided the wardrobe of a clown and decided, "Yes, this is the look for today."
And the accessories – or lack thereof! She seems to believe that a neon green bum bag (or fanny pack as my North American friends call it) is the pinnacle of fashion sophistication. I can't help but wonder if she's secretly auditioning for a role in a retro '80s music video.
As a refined feline with impeccable taste, I've tried to offer subtle hints – a disdainful flick of the tail, a judgmental stare or an advisory email – but alas, my efforts have gone unnoticed.
It's not all bad. Her wardrobe choices do provide me with ample entertainment as I watch her attempt to navigate the world with a distinct lack of sartorial sense.
I often give her the benefit of my expertise in this book. Read it. You might learn something.
Here's her other book: Not So Sweet Toffee
You can follow me on: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest. As you can see, I have far too much to say for myself.
Oh dear, most of us have had a fashion faux pas at some time, but it seems like your human has rather a lot according to you.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid that is true. I offer advice but she so often ignores it. *shakes head
DeleteHumans just don't have the innate sense of grace that felines do...except when you are licking your bums.
ReplyDeleteCorrect. As for the licking bums thing, what can I say? A cat's gotta do what a cat's gotta do.
DeleteI love your book- especially the fashion advice. XO
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. Your opinion is one of the few opinions I respect!
DeleteHey Toffee have some compassion for us mere humans! We can't possibly have the innate elegance of a feline!
ReplyDeleteThis much is true. My innate elegance is hard to replicate.
DeleteI need your expertise, Toffee.
ReplyDeleteYou and so many other women. One piece of advice would be to always do the opposite to what my old woman does.
DeleteI literally laughed out loud at this.
DeleteMoms can be so clueless.
ReplyDeleteBut at least they wear clothes ...
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