Monday 28 November 2022

The Hoomans Oversleep

My old man and old woman have been rushing around like blue arsed flies this morning after doing something called "oversleeping". They were tired because their sleep was disturbed by someone - ahem - zooming around the bedroom in the middle of the night. Whether that was anything to do with me, I couldn't possibly comment.

They eventually ran off to work at the rate of knots, glaring at me as they exited the premises.

The trouble with hoomans is that they waste so much energy doing things that don't need doing. For example, cooking. They don't need to cook. Open pouches, tins or packets of prawns (especially packets of prawns). Minimal energy expended on nutritious meals.

I found this on the internet and I would print it out for them but I'm conserving energy: "Hoomans should simplify their lives into energy intake (snack), energy conservation (catnap), energy restoration (snack again), more energy conservation for digestion (catnap again) and so on. Human eyesight is poor. It’s pitiful to see them blundering about, stubbing their toes in the dark, but their blindness is useful if you decide to snack on the hamster at midnight."

Wise words indeed.

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  1. Being retired I don't have to worry about oversleeping. In fact I think my life is more like that of a cat now!
    Don't snack on the hamster! Many years ago my friend's cat brought home a dead hamster.Whether he caught and killed it, or whether it had died and been buried and he dug it up again we never knew.

  2. Sweetie is still on Daylight Saving Time; she wakes us up early almost every day.
    I go to bed early now.

  3. That is good advice for them to stop cooking. :)