Wednesday 1 April 2020

A is for Autobiography

As this is the first day of the 2020 A to Z Blogging Challenge, I thought A for Autobiography was a good place to start. So let me introduce myself.

Version One: My name is Toffee and I was born a queen among cats in a palace made of kippers and ham. As heir to the kingdom, I was given the title Scourge Of The Rodents and spent my days learning to stalk, pounce and kill, like the warrior Ninja I am. 

I dined on salmon, prawns and fillet steak and slept in a four-poster bed on a velvet cushion. All other cats bowed before me, crying out, "Oh Mighty One," as I passed by.

I had three servants, one to comb my whiskers, one to sharpen my nails and one to warm the litter tray before I used it.

But one day, a cloud fell over Toffee's kingdom. The evil Rajah, the twit part-Siamese ("ooo, I'm so grand I am part pedigree") cat who now lives next door, put a spell on the palace by breathing over it with his disgustingly evil cat breath. The miasmic clouds floated through the rooms rendering all who breathed it in unconscious.

Only one cat remained awake and that was the Lady of the Whiskers. She spirited me away to a far off land to live in safety in the home of the old man and the old woman from whence one day I will RISE AGAIN to reclaim my kingdom.

Version Two: The old woman's mother lived on a farm and when the old woman admired the little ginger kitten, she gave her to her.

Ya pays yer money and takes ya choice.

My blog That's Purrfect is also in the A to Z Challenge. Read it here

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Well, I've finally done it. I have written my no-holds-barred exposé of my life. Prepare to be AMAZED, prepare to be SHOCKED, prepare to be ENTHRALLED. Left is the paperback, right is the Kindle version.


You can follow me on Facebook,  talk to me on Twitter, and idolise me on Instagram.


  1. Although I am sure the first version must be true (I have two cats who themselves insist are exiled royalty), I like the second where you were "admired." Even you must like the idea you were admired!

    1. Yes, Lisa, it is very true that I am much admired but on the other hand I am quite obviously of royal birth.

  2. I am certain it must be version 1. Nice start to the A- Z.

  3. I enjoyed your autobiography. :) That reminds me, I need to write a review.

    1. Thank you, Darla. That's so good of you. xxx

  4. Totally enjoying the blog! Cheers!