Monday 18 March 2019

Toffee Finds Her Own Breakfast

Morning, Peeps. I'm feeling pretty good at the moment,having just grossed out the old man and the old woman. Ha, ha! It was their own fault. I was up bright and early and where were they? Under the duvet, snoring, the pair of them.

I wandered over to my bowl and, guess what, the darned thing was empty. Not a sniff of chicken, rabbit or whatever to be found. I stalked around a bit, thinking they'll be up any minute but, no, they stayed in bed, even after I ran all over them and meowed piteously.

So what's a girl to do?

I went into the sitting-room and found three spiders. They're ex-spiders now. They didn't taste bad. Then I found some fluff which was a bit bland and chewy. Then, result, under the sofa was a dried up bit of pork crackling left over from Sunday lunch. That went down a treat.

This is now an ex-spider.
I had a sip of water to make sure it was nicely marinated, waited a few minutes, and puked it all up in the old man's shoe.

To say he wasn't best pleased when he put on the shoe to go to work is an under-statement.
I'm now curled up on the settee, purring away, after I FINALLY got my proper breakfast.

Learn the lesson, people. LEARN THE LESSON.

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