The old man and the old woman have been really busy lately, attending to family matters and working full-time, so they have not lavished as much attention on me as they usually do.
When I adopted them I knew I would have to take the rough with the smooth. I could, if wanted, get up from the comfy bed, side-step the tuna chunks and exit through the cat flap to find pastures new. But I have invested so much time in training these two that I don't think I can be bothered starting from scratch with new
When the slaves pets are in the house, I try not to leave them alone for too long as they are prone to bad behaviour, like drinking too much beer and wine and watching too much TV. I have to nip this mischief in the bud by crawling all over them, demanding attention and keeping them busy with things like removing half-chewed mice from under the sofa.
I also keep them busy by walking over clean laundry with muddy feet, hiding vital accessories like car keys and shedding hair over their furniture, clothes and pillows. I believe in strong discipline.
Despite all these measures, the pets still sometimes misbehave so I have to punish them. Firm but fair, is my motto. One method is lie enticingly on the sofa with my stomach exposed, begging for a rub. I let them tickle me for a short while and then GRAB! While they are screaming, I shout: YOU. WILL. NEVER. GIVE. ME. CHEAP. SUPERMARKET. OWN BRAND. FOOD. AGAIN. Sadly, humans are not the most intelligent species on the planet and this tactic may or may not work. Frankly, I don't care, I just like doing it!
➨You can follow me on Facebook, talk to me on Twitter, and idolise me on Instagram.
I also keep them busy by walking over clean laundry with muddy feet, hiding vital accessories like car keys and shedding hair over their furniture, clothes and pillows. I believe in strong discipline.
Despite all these measures, the pets still sometimes misbehave so I have to punish them. Firm but fair, is my motto. One method is lie enticingly on the sofa with my stomach exposed, begging for a rub. I let them tickle me for a short while and then GRAB! While they are screaming, I shout: YOU. WILL. NEVER. GIVE. ME. CHEAP. SUPERMARKET. OWN BRAND. FOOD. AGAIN. Sadly, humans are not the most intelligent species on the planet and this tactic may or may not work. Frankly, I don't care, I just like doing it!
➨You can follow me on Facebook, talk to me on Twitter, and idolise me on Instagram.
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Well, I've finally done it. I have written my no-holds-barred exposé of my life. Prepare to be AMAZED, prepare to be SHOCKED, prepare to be ENTHRALLED. Left is the paperback, right is the Kindle version.
Sounds like you keep them in line. XO
ReplyDeleteYou tell 'em!
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