Toffee: Sit down, old woman. We need to talk.
This new cat food you've given me:
- Is it of an acceptable quality?
- Have you read the ingredients list?
- Have you tasted it?
- Does it have added vitamins?
- Is it cheaper than my old food?
- Did it come from a tin, pouch or foil tray?
- Do posh cats eat it?
- Could you put it on a silver plate?
Old woman: In order of question, Toffee - Yes, yes, no, yes, no, yes, of course, definitely not. You have two choices, Toffee. Take it or leave it.
Toffee: (Gives old woman withering look and stalks off.)
Half an hour later cat food has "mysteriously" disappeared.
* * * * * * *Well, I've finally done it. I have written my no-holds-barred exposé of my life. Prepare to be AMAZED, prepare to be SHOCKED, prepare to be ENTHRALLED. Left is the paperback, right is the Kindle version.