I WAS feeling restless today. I went out and sat in the garden for two minutes but it was cold so I came back in again.
I sat on the sofa for a few seconds and then decided I needed fresh air and it wasn’t really that cold outside.
Once outside, I thought it was too cold after all and came back in. I then paced around for a bit, trying to decide what to do next. I hovered in front of the cat flap and then eyed up the sofa. I hopped on it and then hopped off again. Or should I go and lie on the bed? Or go out and sleep under the rosebush? I got through the cat flap, changed my mind and came straight back in again.
I finally ended up on the doorstep. The best of both worlds.
The old woman had been reading her magazine and watching my comings and goings.
She peered over the top over glasses.
‘You know what Louis Camuti said, don’t you, Toffee?’
Who’s Louis Camuti when he’s at home? And shouldn't he be called Catuti?
The old woman obviously wasn’t going to shut up in a hurry, as per usual.
She said, “Most cats when they are Out want to be In, and vice versa, and often simultaneously.’ Then she laughed like a drain as if she’d cracked some hilarious joke.
The woman’s an idiot.
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