The sun was shining so I was out in the garden today. It was lovely to feel the sun on my fur and I was soon fast asleep. But it wasn't so nice at around 8.30am when I was awoken by parents dragging their squalling brats to school.
The children spotted me and started calling to me, "Puss, puss, puss," as if I'm going to get up to greet a total stranger who hasn't even got some kind of catty foodstuff in its little hand.
Then I hit on a clever wheeze. I stretched out and twisted my body. Then, eyes wide open, fixed my stare on the garden fence. I held my breath.
"Mummy, mummy, there's a dead cat in that garden!" shouted a little girl. Then I suddenly leapt in the air and she screamed blue murder.
I was enjoying this and thought I could keep it up for ages. But then the old woman swooped down on me.
"I see what you're doing, Toffee," she said, "And you can stop it right now!"
She scooped me up and carried me into the house but at least I got a few treats in my bowl.
Same time, same place tomorrow?
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