Toffee's Breakfast Bonanza

Good morning, everyone. I'm feeling pretty good at the moment, having just grossed out the old man and the old woman. Ha, ha! It was their own fault. I was up bright and early and where were they? Under the duvet, snoring.

I wandered over to my bowl and, guess what, the darned thing was empty. So what's a girl to do?

I went into the sitting-room and found three spiders. They're ex-spiders now. They didn't taste bad. Then I found some fluff which was a bit bland and chewy. Then, result, under the sofa was a dried up bit of pork crackling left over from Sunday lunch. That went down a treat.

This is now an ex-spider.

I had a sip of water to make sure it was all nicely marinated, waited a few minutes, and puked it all up in the old man's shoe.

To say he wasn't best pleased when he put on the shoe to go to work is an under-statement. 

I'm now curled up on the settee, purring away, after I FINALLY got my proper breakfast.

Learn the lesson, people. LEARN THE LESSON.

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Look at this: 

Such a naughty book from the irrepressible Toffee!

Here's her other book: Not So Sweet Toffee

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