Dear Bill and Bailey Circus,
Owing to a contretemps involving the old man, a mobile phone dropped down the toilet and withdrawal of treat privileges, I am running away from home to join the circus. I have excellent organisational skills so I was thinking “ring master”. I will require a Winnebago to live in, prawns on demand and a velvet cushion to sit on.
Toffee
Dear Toffee,
Thank you for your application, if that is what it was, but circuses in the UK are no longer allowed to use or employ wild animals. Therefore, we reluctantly have to decline your application.
Bill and Bailey Circus
Dear Bill and Bailey Circus,
I am a domesticated feline with impeccable manners, so I take exception to being referred to as a wild animal. At least I wasn’t wild before I got your letter but I am now. In fact, I am livid.
Toffee
- This is an excerpt from my next book, Letters From A Diva Cat. Coming soon! Until then, have a look at my current book, Not So Sweet Toffee. See below.
