Have you been watching the Olympics? The old woman has been glued to the TV (not literally - that would be painful), not realising that she has a gold medal winner in her own house.
Yes, I iz athlete. To be precise, a gymnast. The floor exercise is my event and I am particularly proud of my double pike.
After an amazing routine of flips, twists, leaps and tumbling, I fall dramatically to the floor for the grand finale.
You're impurressed with my gold-medal winning purrformance in the Purrlympics, aren't you?
* * * * * * *Well, I've finally done it. I have written my no-holds-barred exposé of my life. Prepare to be AMAZED, prepare to be SHOCKED, prepare to be ENTHRALLED. Left is the paperback, right is the Kindle version.