R is for Revenge

I am not a vindictive cat (not very...)  but, even so, it's best not to upset me. I can cough up hairballs on cue. I can pretend to be cuddly wuddly and then suddenly attack and I will give you a very stern look if you try to feed me sub-standard food.

I have other devious tips for you cats who want to teach those hoomans  a lesson. For example, the other day I was shut in the utility room just because the old man and the old woman were chasing a mouse around the house. I have NO IDEA where it came from. Ahem.

So, here's an idea for some minor revenge. Sit on the TV remote control and surreptitiously change channels when the hoomans are least expecting it. I did this the other night just as Poirot was about to unmask the murderer.

If you have a cat litter tray you can hijack the car keys and bury them. Your people will spend hours searching for them and only find them, nicely marinated, when they empty the tray. This was tip number two. Number two. Get it? Not sure if Number Two is a reference used outside of the UK. If you don't know what it means, read this in the urban dictionary.

Save some prawns from your dinner (if you can resist eating them) and hide them away where they will get nicely stinky and the hoomans will spend hours trying to find the source of the smell.

These are just three of my tips. Make sure you use them sparingly because a. the hoomans will soon get wise to your tricks and b. you don't want to upset them too much because they're OK really.

My blog That's Purrfect is also in the A to Z Challenge. Read it here www.thatspurrfect.co.uk

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Well, I've finally done it. I have written my no-holds-barred exposé of my life. Prepare to be AMAZED, prepare to be SHOCKED, prepare to be ENTHRALLED. Left is the paperback, right is the Kindle version.

            

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