The old man and old woman like to go out for a walk - but just because they like aimlessly wandering about with sweets in their pockets, it doesn't mean I like it too. I get enough exercise playing and hunting, thank you very much. So I was more than a little surprised when the old woman crept up on me the other day as I was napping on the sofa.
Suddenly, I felt something being put over my head and around my chest. I leapt to my feet, looked down over myself and realised I had been trussed like a chicken in some ill-fitting harness contraption with a lead attached.
‘Come on,’ said the old woman brightly. ‘We’re going for a walk.’
YOU might be going for a walk, lady, I most certainly am not.
She lifted me up and carried me outside. She put me down and gave a little tug to the leash. With admirable restraint I refrained from attacking her legs.
‘Come on Toffee, walkies!’ I walked onto the grass. She tried to pull me forward. I lay down. She dragged me along the lawn.
‘Toffee, stand up. We’re going for a walk.’
I dug my claws into the grass. She tugged harder and dragged me a bit further. I made a run for it, taking her by surprise, and scaled the nearest tree, the harness trailing behind me.
She stood underneath, calling me.
‘Come down, Toffee. It’s OK. You don’t have to go for a walk. I’ll get you some prawns. Don’t stay up there, you might get the lead tangled in the branches.’
The old man, who had been watching from the doorway, reached up, lifted me from the tree and removed the harness. He appeared to be laughing about something. Not sure what.
‘That went well!’ he said to the old woman.
She stared at him, stony-faced, snatched the harness and stalked off indoors.
The old man tickled me under the chin.
‘Come on, girl. Let’s go find some prawns.’
My blog That's Purrfect is also in the A to Z Challenge. Read it here www.thatspurrfect.co.uk
* * * * * * *Well, I've finally done it. I have written my no-holds-barred exposé of my life. Prepare to be AMAZED, prepare to be SHOCKED, prepare to be ENTHRALLED. Left is the paperback, right is the Kindle version.