Tuesday 28 April 2020

X is for eXperiment



My friend is caught in the act - note contrite expression.

Here is an excerpt about experiments from my book. 'A book?' You ask. 'Has Toffee written a book?' Yes I have!  See adverts all over this blog. Well, I didn't want anyone to miss the fact that I HAVE WRITTEN A BOOK.


In order to increase the sum of human knowledge, I have been investigating the effects of gravity on random objects.

The results of my experiments:

Coffee mug. Will break. Effect: Liquid content will spread and stain pale rug. Secondary effect: The old woman will scream and rush to get the carpet cleaner.

Jar of jam/jelly. Will break. Effect: Floor becomes sticky. Very sticky. Secondary effect: If anyone (*looks innocent) walks through it they will leave jammy footprints all over the house.

Newspaper. Will fall apart. Effect: The old man will bundle it back together again while swearing. Quite loudly. Secondary effect: The old man will start reading an article and become very confused  because he's got the pages in the wrong order.

Glass bowls. Will break. Effect: The old woman will be upset because it was a gift from Aunt Maud. Secondary effect: The old man will do a fist pump because he's always hated it.

Pillow. Will fall and look very inviting. Too inviting. Effect: Zzzzzzzz.Secondary effect: Zzzzzzzz.

I'm thinking of changing my name to Einstein.


My blog That's Purrfect is also in the A to Z Challenge. Read it here www.thatspurrfect.co.uk


*     *     *     *     *     *    *
Well, I've finally done it. I have written my no-holds-barred exposé of my life. Prepare to be AMAZED, prepare to be SHOCKED, prepare to be ENTHRALLED. Left is the paperback, right is the Kindle version.


            
You can follow me on Facebook,  talk to me on Twitter, and idolise me on Instagram.


10 comments:

  1. I love your "investigating the effects of gravity"!! Great second effects ;)
    X is for…

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm doing my best for science.

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  2. Have you reached any conclusions, or are you still experimenting? I think my Benny is conducting a life-long experiment on how much food he can eat at one sitting and still have enough room to eat his sister's dinner.

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    Replies
    1. Experimenting is constant, Lisa. Your Benny is doing a grand job. I would be proud to know him.

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  3. I think that's enough experimentation for now. You're making *me* sleepy thinking of all that effort. ~grin~

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    Replies
    1. It is very tiring, Darla. I have to take frequent naps to get over the strain.

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  4. Toffee- some folks would think you were a troublemaker, but in reality you are a scientist experimenting! Have a fantastic day figuring out stuff!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Kathe. I'm glad someone understands me.

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  5. You are such a little scientist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really am - and a very successful one too.

      Delete