Tuesday, 27 August 2019

Toffee Answers A Few Questions

As a media star of some standing, I often get asked questions by my fans. Here are a few of them:

How do you keep your fur in such tip-top condition?
It's all down to personal grooming and care.  Occasionally I come indoors with muddy feet (see my recent Pawprints post) and with dirt and burrs stuck to me. I then find the cleanest spot in the house and transfer as much of this dirt as I can. I then proceed to groom myself.  It is essential to get dirty in the first place as it's by removing the debris that I can condition my own fur and keep it glossy (hence the term "spit and polish"), making me the beautiful girl you see today.

Why do you try to sleep on laptop keyboards?
You misunderstand the manoeuvre. I'm not trying to get into position to sleep there - but to share with you my technological expertise. I am keeping an eye out for nasty things like worms and viruses. If I ever see any I am going to pounce and get rid of them for you. You're welcome.

What is your favourite food?
PRAWNS and anything I can steal off a plate, hopefully PRAWNS.

Who do you share your house with?
I don't share anything but I have an old man and woman who live with me. They are more like staff than housemates.

What do you dream about?
I had a dream I was perched high on top of a bookcase with the old man watching TV below. I waited until his eyes began to droop and then I pounced. He screamed like a girl and fell off the sofa. Oh no, hang on. That wasn't a dream, happened last night.

What is the collective noun for a group of cats?
If you look this up on the internet, you will find  a variety of collective nouns, including a clowder of cats, a clutter, a pounce, and a glare. Personally, I call a group of cats "a fight waiting to happen".

Why do you sleep so much?
Too tired to answer any more questions. Zzzzz, Zzzzz, Zzzzz.

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