Monday, 25 March 2019

Toffee Says Goodnight

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The old man and old woman have this strange idea that the bed belongs to them. Wrong. The bed belongs to me. I allow them to sleep there because I am a magnanimous moggie, full of the milk of feline kindness. But I do like to have plenty of R00000000M. Some mornings as I stretch across the bed to my full length I can hear them muttering as they perch precariously on the edge.

"How does she do it?"

"How can something so little take up so much room?"

"Can we swap her for a gerbil?"

I can hear you asking why they don't just shut me out of the bedroom. They have tried but the scratches on the door do not sit well with their idea of interior design...apparently. And I have perfected this "poor pussycat being strangled" meow which is enough to wake the dead, let alone two moderately light sleepers.

So I stake my claim every night. I don't always take up all the bed, sometimes I save space by sitting on the old man's head or the old woman's chest. Below,  a friend demonstrates the sleeping on the head manoeuvre. Often, I don't even sleep on the bed at all. I run about the room instead, playing with anything I can and jumping up and down off the furniture. That doesn't make them happy either, for some reason. There's no pleasing some people.

A friend demonstrates the sleeping on
the head manoeuvre

Anyway, it's now 8am and I have had a strenuous half hour eating breakfast and performing my morning ablutions. It's all very tiring work so please excuse me while I find a convenient place for a kip. It's clean bedding day so I think I'll settle down on the bed right in the middle of the duvet.

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  1. OMC too funny! Do you believe that Cody NEVER EVER sleeps in our bed? He is allowed to but I have no idea why he doesn't. My Angel Bobo used to LOVE to sleep in our bed!

    1. Luckily, the bed is MINE. The Mr and Mrs insist on sharing it.

  2. Sometimes I think we rent the space from our freeloading cats. But we live and love. Be well!